Welcoming a new life into the world is both exhilarating and challenging. For many, labor and birth bring a mix of excitement and uncertainty. As a birth partner, your role is vital during this transformational time. This guide explores four essential ways to support your partner throughout labor and delivery, ensuring a nurturing and empowering experience.
Start a conversation about both of your preferences around labor and birth
Getting an idea of how you both envision labor, birth, newborn care, and postpartum can be a great starting point. Having a good overview of what might happen in labor and birth and knowing your options in each scenario can help you decide what your values are. As a Naturopathic Doctor and Birth Doula, I help facilitate these conversations.
Here are some questions that might be helpful to get started:
Do you know what the different stages of labor look like?
Do you know how your partner typically handles pain?
Do you know what your different options are for medical pain management? What about your options for non-medical pain management?
What if your partner is offered induction? What does that process look like?
Do you have any cultural or religious preferences around labor and birth?
Do you have any preferences around newborn care that might be offered such as the Vitamin K injection, antibiotic eye ointment, delayed cord clamping, newborn bathing, and so on?
How will you both prepare for postpartum?
Discuss how your partner handles pain
A contraction can last around 60-70 seconds. How are you helping your partner make it through this?
You can also download a contraction timer app to help keep track of the contractions and know when to head to the hospital while your partner focuses on laboring.
I review some of the mindsets around birth and strategies to make it through in the Childbirth with Confidence workshop through The WOMB Milton (under Pregnancy and Birth Offerings).
Offer Physical Support
Physical touch can provide immense comfort during labor. Your partner may benefit from massage, counter-pressure on the lower back, or simply holding their hand. Being attentive to their needs ensures they feel supported. Frequent position changes can help manage discomfort and facilitate the baby’s descent, so encourage your partner to try various positions like standing, kneeling, or using a birthing ball.
Every labor is unique, and your partner's preferences may change throughout the process. Stay aware of their cues and adapt your physical support accordingly. For example, during contractions, pressing on their back might provide relief, while during breaks, gentle hand-holding might feel more comforting.
I review these techniques in the Acupressure and Massage for Labor and Birth workshop through The WOMB Milton.

4. Serve as an Advocate
Your role as an advocate for your partner’s preferences is crucial during labor. If your partner is in pain, fatigued, or focused, you may need to speak for them. Familiarize yourself with their birth needs so you can effectively communicate their wishes to healthcare staff.
If any procedures are suggested, ask questions to seek clarification. Think about the BRAIN acronym:
B - what are the benefits of this intervention?
R - what are the risks associated with this intervention?
A - are there any alternatives?
I - What is my intuition telling me?
N - What would happen if we do nothing?
You can always ask for 15 minutes to discuss with each other privately before making a decision.
Reduce some of your partner's mental load

Think about some ways that you can help with the preparation. Can you set up a serene space for your partner to labor? Can you pack the birth bags? Can you install the car seat? Bonus points if you just do these things instead of asking what you can do
Setting up a serene space (whether in home or in hospital) can look like:
Setting up a lamp in a cozy room so you can soften the lighting
Adding soothing music or nature sounds
Setting up a diffuser with some of their favourite scents
Pumping up a birth ball or peanut ball
Final Thoughts
Supporting your partner during labor and birth is both a privilege and a responsibility. Don't hesitate to reach out for assistance from myself, a naturopathic birth and postpartum doula in Mississauga and Milton, for additional guidance and support.
Labor is a beautiful journey filled with emotion and transformation. As a supportive partner, you can make this experience memorable and manageable, leading to a positive birth experience for both of you. Your love, presence, and encouragement will play an invaluable role in this incredible adventure of parenthood together.
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