Irritability and Rage in Postpartum, Perimenopause, and PMS

A woman shares a tender moment with her infant but questions why she feels so irritable all the time.

As a Naturopathic Doctor and birth doula in Mississauga and Milton, one of the most common concerns I hear from women in perimenopause, postpartum, and during PMS is: “Why am I so irritable?”

It’s not just “in your head.” There’s a reason the smallest things can suddenly feel overwhelming—and I like to explain it with a bucket analogy.

Starting the Day with Your Bucket

Each morning, you wake up with a “bucket.” This bucket represents how much stress, emotions, and demands you can hold before you spill over. But here’s the catch: the size of your bucket changes every day.

• Had a solid, uninterrupted sleep? Your bucket is bigger.

• Were you up multiple times with your baby, hot flashes, or racing thoughts? Your bucket is smaller.

• Carrying yesterday’s unfinished to-do list or overthinking conversations? Smaller bucket.

• Hormonal shifts in PMS, postpartum recovery, or perimenopause? Smaller bucket again.

So before the day even starts, your bucket may already be half the size you’d like.

What Fills the Bucket?

Throughout the day, stressors start dripping in. Some are tiny splashes, others are full-on dumps:

• Spilled coffee on your shirt before work.

• Your toddler refusing to nap.

• A last-minute meeting added to your calendar.

• Traffic on the 401 (Milton and Mississauga locals, you know what I mean!).

• A partner asking, “What’s for dinner?” when you haven’t had a chance to think about it.

• Scrolling social media and comparing yourself to “perfect” moms or professionals.

On top of all this, hormonal shifts making you more sensitive to blood sugar drops, sleep changes, or noise.

Eventually, your bucket fills to the brim—and when it overflows, it looks like

• Irritability or snapping at loved ones.

• Feeling anxious or restless.

• Trouble winding down at night or staying asleep.

How to Stop the Spill: Punching Holes in Your Bucket

Since life won’t stop pouring stress into your bucket, the solution isn’t to aim for zero stress—it’s to let some of it drain out. Think of these strategies as “holes” that release pressure before you spill over:

• Sleep support: Protecting your bedtime routine and creating restful sleep habits when possible.

• Balanced meals: Not going too long between meals—blood sugar dips can worsen mood swings in PMS, perimenopause, and postpartum.

• Movement: Walking, yoga, or strength training—movement acts like a pressure valve.

• Nervous system resets: Yoga nidra, meditation, or breathwork to calm the overwhelm.

• Journaling or brain-dumping: Get the to-do list and racing thoughts out of your head and onto paper.

• Support systems: Talking with a trusted friend, partner, or professional who understands what you’re going through.

The Takeaway

You don’t always control the size of your bucket, especially during hormone shifts like PMS, postpartum recovery, and perimenopause. But you can control how quickly it fills and how much drains out.

Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on small daily habits that help release the overflow. Over time, these “bucket holes” mean fewer meltdowns, more patience, and more energy for the things—and people—you love.

👉 If you’re in Mississauga or Milton and need support navigating irritability, mood swings, or hormone transitions, I’d love to help. As a Naturopathic Doctor and birth doula, I support women through fertility, pregnancy, postpartum, and perimenopause with strategies that are sustainable and realistic.